My Facebook Friend (EN)

Characters

 

 

Andreas Fault , the hater

Irina Dragan, the mother

Loredana Lory, the girl from the countryside

Martha Adam/ Maria Montessi, the diva

Martin Ramos, the absent character

 

 

Voice: Please keep your phones opened and connect to Facebook. The WI-FI connection is ….., and the

password is…..

 

 

Scene 1

Each character is situated in a different space from the others. They don’t know each other, and during

the first scenes, although they don’t talk to each other directly, the lines follow after the comment/reply

pattern (which is specific for Facebook) . During the performance, the spectators watch projections with

the characters’ online profiles.

LORY (sleepy, turns on a laptop with some missing keys, then panics): Oooooh! No, no, no! How can I

delete it? Remove me from the picture!

MARTHA( is using her Iphone to film herself) : Hashtag Martha’s word: My dears, don’t stay online without

timeline review. It’s like having unprotected sex. The posts are hot and strong in the morning, the

quickies are refreshing during the day, and the atmosphere statuses follow in the evening. But you can’t

allow everyone to tag you. People have no idea how to use the hashtags correctly, how could you

possibly not use timeline review? (She stops the recording and watches it two times)

IRINA( swinging her baby, is trying to access Facebook on her phone, then opens the laptop): Dragos,

will you let mommy take a look on Facebook? Only for a second…We‘ll just have a peek at what they

posted on the group….

ANDREEEAS FAULT (scrolling mechanically) : You’re pathetic ….

Loredana’s phone rings

LORY: Yes, baby (…) Ella, that stupid bitch, just posted the picture with me from last night in the club. She

did it on purpose. (..,) On Facebook , where else? I look terrible. (…) I can’t, I’m working on the second

shift today. But I’m fed up with your schemes, really. (Looks at a big bag behind her) I’m not meeting up

with Skeleton, do you hear me? What do you think I am, your private courier company? (..) No, I can’t

take a day off, my boss liked the picture. Meaning she won’t buy it when I say I’m sick.(…) Because if she

adds you as a friend, you accept. Anyhow, she’d have seen it on Ella’s profile. Make your own profile if

you don’t get it and then you can speak (… What kind of idiot do you think I am, I knew it wasn’t original.

A perfume makes bubbles if it’s fake. On the Internet, check it out. No, you won’t do it because you

don’t want to write in a relationship with me, I know you (…) Cross your heart and hope to die! Ok, then

I go and you make a Facebook profile. (Hangs up. Makes a call) Ella, sweaty, could you back me up

today?

MARTHA (recording herself) :Hashtag Martha’s Advice: Today’s prize comes from J’adore Spa.

Touchscreen phones require a top notch manicure. Today we have a giveaway for you, a mani pedi

session…

ANDREEAS FAULT ( scrolling) : Touchscreen. Let’s see the world with the fingers, like blind people.

IRINA : Just a second, just let me remove a cuticle (Puts the baby in the bed. Removes it with her teeth

and then spits it out. Sits in front of the laptop. Mistakes a walkie talkie with a mouse)

LORY (bored) : Like. Like. Share. Lol. Awww (taping ) She’s such a cutie pie! God bless her!

MARTHA (filming ) : That’s it for today. I was invited to take part in Matin’s Ramos contest, ‘ Guess who I am‘. It starts in a few minutes from now and I have a feeling that by the end of the night I will know

who is the VIP who calls himself Martin Ramos. Don’t forget that you can follow me on Youtube, Instagram, Pintrest, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google+

Sounds of Facebook notifications