Andreas Fault , the hater
Irina Dragan, the mother
Loredana Lory, the girl from the countryside
Martha Adam/ Maria Montessi, the diva
Martin Ramos, the absent character
Voice: Please keep your phones opened and connect to Facebook. The WI-FI connection is ….., and the
Each character is situated in a different space from the others. They don’t know each other, and during
the first scenes, although they don’t talk to each other directly, the lines follow after the comment/reply
pattern (which is specific for Facebook) . During the performance, the spectators watch projections with
the characters’ online profiles.
LORY (sleepy, turns on a laptop with some missing keys, then panics): Oooooh! No, no, no! How can I
delete it? Remove me from the picture!
MARTHA( is using her Iphone to film herself) : Hashtag Martha’s word: My dears, don’t stay online without
timeline review. It’s like having unprotected sex. The posts are hot and strong in the morning, the
quickies are refreshing during the day, and the atmosphere statuses follow in the evening. But you can’t
allow everyone to tag you. People have no idea how to use the hashtags correctly, how could you
possibly not use timeline review? (She stops the recording and watches it two times)
IRINA( swinging her baby, is trying to access Facebook on her phone, then opens the laptop): Dragos,
will you let mommy take a look on Facebook? Only for a second…We‘ll just have a peek at what they
posted on the group….
ANDREEEAS FAULT (scrolling mechanically) : You’re pathetic ….
Loredana’s phone rings
LORY: Yes, baby (…) Ella, that stupid bitch, just posted the picture with me from last night in the club. She
did it on purpose. (..,) On Facebook , where else? I look terrible. (…) I can’t, I’m working on the second
shift today. But I’m fed up with your schemes, really. (Looks at a big bag behind her) I’m not meeting up
with Skeleton, do you hear me? What do you think I am, your private courier company? (..) No, I can’t
take a day off, my boss liked the picture. Meaning she won’t buy it when I say I’m sick.(…) Because if she
adds you as a friend, you accept. Anyhow, she’d have seen it on Ella’s profile. Make your own profile if
you don’t get it and then you can speak (… What kind of idiot do you think I am, I knew it wasn’t original.
A perfume makes bubbles if it’s fake. On the Internet, check it out. No, you won’t do it because you
don’t want to write in a relationship with me, I know you (…) Cross your heart and hope to die! Ok, then
I go and you make a Facebook profile. (Hangs up. Makes a call) Ella, sweaty, could you back me up
MARTHA (recording herself) :Hashtag Martha’s Advice: Today’s prize comes from J’adore Spa.
Touchscreen phones require a top notch manicure. Today we have a giveaway for you, a mani pedi
ANDREEAS FAULT ( scrolling) : Touchscreen. Let’s see the world with the fingers, like blind people.
IRINA : Just a second, just let me remove a cuticle (Puts the baby in the bed. Removes it with her teeth
and then spits it out. Sits in front of the laptop. Mistakes a walkie talkie with a mouse)
LORY (bored) : Like. Like. Share. Lol. Awww (taping ) She’s such a cutie pie! God bless her!
MARTHA (filming ) : That’s it for today. I was invited to take part in Matin’s Ramos contest, ‘ Guess who I am‘. It starts in a few minutes from now and I have a feeling that by the end of the night I will know
who is the VIP who calls himself Martin Ramos. Don’t forget that you can follow me on Youtube, Instagram, Pintrest, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google+
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